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Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Bad Baboon
Apparently, Rafikee has been a bad baboon lately; he and his gang have been stirring some shit up in South Africa. Watch the video:
"It's just a fact - humans and baboons don't mix." - Old Geezer in the video who doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.
"It's just a fact - humans and baboons don't mix." - Old Geezer in the video who doesn't have a clue what he's talking about.
Monday, 24 September 2007
10 Questions with Rafikee : Behind the Ass
An interview with the idiot.
What started out as a scholarly research interview with a talking baboon with his own tree,
soon turned out to become one of the most revealing sit-downs in history.
The interviewer, Prof. Daniel Ng of Charles Darwin's school of monkilogy, who has had a thesis released on the amount of pertroleum baboons release when they reach maturity. Critically acclaimed, especially in the study of the African Howler Monkey, Daniel has single-handedly made The View and Oprah look like indians asking for viagra in texas, with his provocative questions, prompting Rafikee to comment, was pure genius that only the professor himself, who sidelines as a carebear, would have been able to flush out, like a long dued enema.
The interviewee, Rafikee, is retarded.
Question 1: What is the name of your alien race?
Rafikee: The year is adv 5067.
Rafikee: Mahlist.
Rafikee: You people would call it malice.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Rafikee: We hail from Ionshitopio.
Question 2: Where is your planet located?
Rafikee: A galaxy far far away.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Prof. Daniel Ok.
Question 3: Do your kind possess any special abilities?
Rafikee: Yes.
Prof. Daniel: Could you name them please.
Rafikee: At many stages of our evolution we have attained many talents.
Prof. Daniel: Ok.
Prof. Daniel: What talents do you possess now?
Rafikee: At the age of 4 we can extend out arms to tremendous lengths... good for scratching hard to reach places on our huge backs.
Prof. Daniel: How about now?
Rafikee: Hmm.. one of my favourite talents is gathering all my internal energy and accumulating it into an acidic gas and unleashing it through my rear capillaries which is poisonous to you humans.
Prof. Daniel: OK.
Question 4: Are these abilities accumulative?
Rafikee: Indeed my dear nature boy it is.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Question 5: Why are you on Earth and not on Ionshitopio.
Rafikee: Recon.
Rafikee: Oops i mean peace mission.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Question 6: Why are you commonly mistaken to be a baboon?
Rafikee: When I first arrived on this planet.
Rafikee: Those that I had made 1st contact with.
Prof. Daniel: Wait.
Prof. Daniel: So was it like transformers?
Rafikee: That's in a movie.
Rafikee: Well if I may continue.
Prof. Daniel: Sure.
Prof. Daniel: I'm sorry.
Rafikee: Yes, people have asked where I'm from.
Rafikee: At that point of time I hadn't activated my inter-galactic translater modulator yet thus giving them a bad reply
Rafikee: I told them I was from a millitary division known as the B.a.b.o.o.n.
Rafikee: Does this division exist in Ionshitopia.
Rafikee: Yes it does... it is an ancient group of mahlistians who work in the underground movement on my planet.
Rafikee: We uphold peace law order and everything right.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: Please excuse me, my spawnlings need my breast feeding..
Prof. Daniel: Sure.
Rafikee: Ok, where were we?
Prof Daniel: We just finished the 6th question.
Question 7: Why do you have an low IQ by earths standards?
Rafikee: During my travels in space enroute to earth.
Rafikee: I encountered some problems with the ship.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: I shan't go into the details but..
Prof. Daniel: Did you call the intergalactic SA?
Prof. Daniel: Spacecraft Association.
Prof. Daniel: I heard that they provide towing serivces.
Rafikee: I sustained numerous damages to my nervous system.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: I had tried to request for their assistance but had also ran out of batteries for my radio.
Prof. Daniel: Oh, tragedy.
Rafikee: It's an old model.. you know the XV1090.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: Those models suck.
Prof. Daniel: I drive an xv 89 battlesuit.
Daniel Ng: I have no money for aspace shuttle yet.
Rafikee: Yes you humaids are only grasping the means of space travel.
Prof. Daniel: Yes, sadly.
Rafikee: But it is a long time till you get super sonic light travel.
Prof. Daniel: I am one of the more advanced in warpcraft.
Rafikee: As should you be if you are to interview me.
Prof. Daniel: So the damage to your nervous system affected your intelligence?
Rafikee: My people hold great respect for you professor.
Prof. Daniel: Thank you. I wish i could say the same for your people.
Prof. Daniel: So..
Prof. Daniel: Back to the question?
Rafikee: Yes it did.. I'm normal.. but I get random jolts of memory loss and it seems to have gotten worst due to your harsh climate..
Question 8: Why did you start associating with the HUMANS?
Rafikee: WAR! I mean we wanted to know if we could co-exist with humans have trade deals etc.
Prof. Daniel: Through your observations, can your race co-exist?
Rafikee: A peach in the universe.
Prof. Daniel: Is it a nice peach?
Rafikee: It would be hard but in the long run I think we could.
Rafikee: At first it would be hard for you earthlings to accept our rule.. I mean our ppl, our culture.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Prof. Daniel:Ok, moving on.
Question 9: What do you like about our civilization?
Rafikee: The fresh meat of course.. I mean the livestock.. I mean the people.. they are so kind!
Prof Daniel: Oh.
Question 10: What would you miss about earth when you leave?
Rafikee: Your invasion! ..I mean the ppl of course.
Rafikee: The many friends I've had for dinner.
Prof. Daniel: Oh..
Rafikee: Had with for dinner I mean.
Prof. Daniel: Thank you very much Mr. Rafikee for your time.
Prof. Daniel: I hope to see you around.
Rafikee: *with a cheeky grin and a sneaky look in his eye* indeed we will... indeed we will meet again..
Rafikee: off topic
Rafikee: ur nutz la
Rafikee: hahaha
Prof. Daniel: oh
Rafikee: i go dinner liao
Rafikee: laterz
Prof. Daniel: you know thats going onto your blog right
Prof. Daniel: enjoy your dinner
Evidently, there's more than meets the ass.
What started out as a scholarly research interview with a talking baboon with his own tree,
soon turned out to become one of the most revealing sit-downs in history.
The interviewer, Prof. Daniel Ng of Charles Darwin's school of monkilogy, who has had a thesis released on the amount of pertroleum baboons release when they reach maturity. Critically acclaimed, especially in the study of the African Howler Monkey, Daniel has single-handedly made The View and Oprah look like indians asking for viagra in texas, with his provocative questions, prompting Rafikee to comment, was pure genius that only the professor himself, who sidelines as a carebear, would have been able to flush out, like a long dued enema.
The interviewee, Rafikee, is retarded.
Question 1: What is the name of your alien race?
Rafikee: The year is adv 5067.
Rafikee: Mahlist.
Rafikee: You people would call it malice.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Rafikee: We hail from Ionshitopio.
Question 2: Where is your planet located?
Rafikee: A galaxy far far away.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Prof. Daniel Ok.
Question 3: Do your kind possess any special abilities?
Rafikee: Yes.
Prof. Daniel: Could you name them please.
Rafikee: At many stages of our evolution we have attained many talents.
Prof. Daniel: Ok.
Prof. Daniel: What talents do you possess now?
Rafikee: At the age of 4 we can extend out arms to tremendous lengths... good for scratching hard to reach places on our huge backs.
Prof. Daniel: How about now?
Rafikee: Hmm.. one of my favourite talents is gathering all my internal energy and accumulating it into an acidic gas and unleashing it through my rear capillaries which is poisonous to you humans.
Prof. Daniel: OK.
Question 4: Are these abilities accumulative?
Rafikee: Indeed my dear nature boy it is.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Question 5: Why are you on Earth and not on Ionshitopio.
Rafikee: Recon.
Rafikee: Oops i mean peace mission.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Question 6: Why are you commonly mistaken to be a baboon?
Rafikee: When I first arrived on this planet.
Rafikee: Those that I had made 1st contact with.
Prof. Daniel: Wait.
Prof. Daniel: So was it like transformers?
Rafikee: That's in a movie.
Rafikee: Well if I may continue.
Prof. Daniel: Sure.
Prof. Daniel: I'm sorry.
Rafikee: Yes, people have asked where I'm from.
Rafikee: At that point of time I hadn't activated my inter-galactic translater modulator yet thus giving them a bad reply
Rafikee: I told them I was from a millitary division known as the B.a.b.o.o.n.
Rafikee: Does this division exist in Ionshitopia.
Rafikee: Yes it does... it is an ancient group of mahlistians who work in the underground movement on my planet.
Rafikee: We uphold peace law order and everything right.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: Please excuse me, my spawnlings need my breast feeding..
Prof. Daniel: Sure.
Rafikee: Ok, where were we?
Prof Daniel: We just finished the 6th question.
Question 7: Why do you have an low IQ by earths standards?
Rafikee: During my travels in space enroute to earth.
Rafikee: I encountered some problems with the ship.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: I shan't go into the details but..
Prof. Daniel: Did you call the intergalactic SA?
Prof. Daniel: Spacecraft Association.
Prof. Daniel: I heard that they provide towing serivces.
Rafikee: I sustained numerous damages to my nervous system.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: I had tried to request for their assistance but had also ran out of batteries for my radio.
Prof. Daniel: Oh, tragedy.
Rafikee: It's an old model.. you know the XV1090.
Prof. Daniel: Oh.
Rafikee: Those models suck.
Prof. Daniel: I drive an xv 89 battlesuit.
Daniel Ng: I have no money for aspace shuttle yet.
Rafikee: Yes you humaids are only grasping the means of space travel.
Prof. Daniel: Yes, sadly.
Rafikee: But it is a long time till you get super sonic light travel.
Prof. Daniel: I am one of the more advanced in warpcraft.
Rafikee: As should you be if you are to interview me.
Prof. Daniel: So the damage to your nervous system affected your intelligence?
Rafikee: My people hold great respect for you professor.
Prof. Daniel: Thank you. I wish i could say the same for your people.
Prof. Daniel: So..
Prof. Daniel: Back to the question?
Rafikee: Yes it did.. I'm normal.. but I get random jolts of memory loss and it seems to have gotten worst due to your harsh climate..
Question 8: Why did you start associating with the HUMANS?
Rafikee: WAR! I mean we wanted to know if we could co-exist with humans have trade deals etc.
Prof. Daniel: Through your observations, can your race co-exist?
Rafikee: A peach in the universe.
Prof. Daniel: Is it a nice peach?
Rafikee: It would be hard but in the long run I think we could.
Rafikee: At first it would be hard for you earthlings to accept our rule.. I mean our ppl, our culture.
Prof. Daniel: I see.
Prof. Daniel:Ok, moving on.
Question 9: What do you like about our civilization?
Rafikee: The fresh meat of course.. I mean the livestock.. I mean the people.. they are so kind!
Prof Daniel: Oh.
Question 10: What would you miss about earth when you leave?
Rafikee: Your invasion! ..I mean the ppl of course.
Rafikee: The many friends I've had for dinner.
Prof. Daniel: Oh..
Rafikee: Had with for dinner I mean.
Prof. Daniel: Thank you very much Mr. Rafikee for your time.
Prof. Daniel: I hope to see you around.
Rafikee: *with a cheeky grin and a sneaky look in his eye* indeed we will... indeed we will meet again..
Rafikee: off topic
Rafikee: ur nutz la
Rafikee: hahaha
Prof. Daniel: oh
Rafikee: i go dinner liao
Rafikee: laterz
Prof. Daniel: you know thats going onto your blog right
Prof. Daniel: enjoy your dinner
Evidently, there's more than meets the ass.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Monkey God Tree spotted in Jurong West
Recently, there has been a lot of hype about a tree in Jurong West that bears the sembalnce of two monkeys. Many say that the monkeys are the Chinese Monkey God or the Hindu Hanuman. However, we here have the truth. The monkey is RAFIKEE.
As can be seen on the above picture, Rafikee's face if very prominent on the bark of the tree and it is a wonder why anyone could mistake his face for any other monkeys. The real story of the tree is this. After escaping from the zoo, Rafikee decided to visit Juroung West. As is normal for every creature, he had to urinate. While urinating at the tree, a car collided into him, causing his face imprint to be on the tree. Rafikee quickly escaped after the accident and no one knew that he was involved.
When asked for comment, Taxi driver , Kenneth Ho commented that the tree gave "good luck to stupid people" and that "the bananas somehow disappear everyday". The Ministry of Stupid Happenings has yet to comment on this situation.
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Sea Monkeys
Daniel was having a conversation with Kenneth; Rafikee was nearby - and that reminded Daniel of a programme he had watched earlier in the week:
Daniel: Eh, I just saw on Discovery Channel that monkeys can swim.
Rafikee, upon hearing this, butted in:
"Sea-monkeys?!"
Daniel: Eh, I just saw on Discovery Channel that monkeys can swim.
Rafikee, upon hearing this, butted in:
"Sea-monkeys?!"
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